{"id":324,"date":"2007-07-27T08:50:42","date_gmt":"2007-07-27T07:50:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/?p=324"},"modified":"2012-10-13T18:07:35","modified_gmt":"2012-10-13T16:07:35","slug":"je-mi-osmadvacet-a-neudelal-jsem-skoro-nic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/?p=324","title":{"rendered":"&#8222;Je mi osmadvacet, a neud\u011blal jsem skoro nic&#8220;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u201eM\u011bl bych, mysl\u00edm, za\u010d\u00edt n\u011bco d\u011blat, te\u010f, kdy se u\u010d\u00edm d\u00edvat. Je mi osmadvacet, a neud\u011blal jsem skoro nic. Zopakujme si to: napsal jsem studii o Carpacciovi, kter\u00e1 je \u0161patn\u00e1, drama, kter\u00e9 se jmenuje \u201eMan\u017eelstv\u00ed\u201c a chce dvojsmysln\u00fdmi prost\u0159edky dok\u00e1zat cosi fale\u0161n\u00e9ho, a ver\u0161e. Ach, ale s ver\u0161i se po\u0159\u00edd\u00ed tak m\u00e1lo, kdy\u017e je p\u00ed\u0161eme brzy. M\u011bli bychom s nimi po\u010dkat a po cel\u00fd \u017eivot a pokud mo\u017eno dlouh\u00fd \u017eivot shroma\u017e\u010fovat ve smyslech sladkost, a potom, zcela na konec, snad potom bychom mohli napsat deset ver\u0161\u016f, kter\u00e9 jsou dobr\u00e9. Nebo\u0165 ver\u0161e nejsou, jak mysl\u00ed lid\u00e9, pocity (ty m\u00e1me dost brzy) &#8211; jsou to zku\u0161enosti.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Pro jeden ver\u0161 mus\u00edme vid\u011bt mnoho m\u011bst, lid\u00ed a v\u011bc\u00ed, mus\u00edme zn\u00e1t zv\u00ed\u0159ata, mus\u00edme c\u00edtit, jak l\u00e9taj\u00ed pt\u00e1ci, a zn\u00e1t pohyb, s n\u00edm\u017e se zr\u00e1na otv\u00edraj\u00ed mal\u00e9 kv\u011btiny. Mus\u00edme se dov\u00e9st rozpomenouti na cesty v nezn\u00e1m\u00fdch krajin\u00e1ch a na rozchody, kter\u00e9 jsme vid\u011bli dlouho p\u0159ich\u00e1zet, &#8211; na d\u011btsk\u00e9 dny, kter\u00e9 jsou je\u0161t\u011b neujasn\u011bny, na rodi\u010de, kter\u00e9 jsme musili zarmoutit, kdy\u017e n\u00e1m p\u0159in\u00e1\u0161eli radost a my ji nech\u00e1pali (byla to radost pro n\u011bkoho jin\u00e9ho -), na d\u011btsk\u00e9 nemoci, kter\u00e9 tak podivn\u011b za\u010d\u00ednaj\u00ed s tolika hlubok\u00fdmi a t\u011b\u017ek\u00fdmi prom\u011bnami, na dny v tich\u00fdch, uzav\u0159en\u00fdch sv\u011btnic\u00edch a na jitra u mo\u0159e, na mo\u0159e v\u016fbec, na mo\u0159e, na cesty za noc\u00ed, kter\u00e9 vysoko \u0161um\u011bly a let\u011bly se v\u0161emi hv\u011bzdami \u2013 a je\u0161t\u011b to nen\u00ed dost, kdy\u017e m\u016f\u017eeme na to na v\u0161echno myslit. Mus\u00edme m\u00edt vzpom\u00ednky na mnoho noc\u00ed l\u00e1sky, z nich\u017e \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 se nepodobala druh\u00e9, na v\u00fdk\u0159iky rodi\u010dek a na lehk\u00e9, b\u00edl\u00e9, sp\u00edc\u00ed \u0161estined\u011blky, kter\u00e9 se zav\u00edraj\u00ed. Ale tak\u00e9 u um\u00edraj\u00edc\u00edch jsme musili b\u00fdt, musili jsme sed\u011bt u mrtv\u00fdch ve sv\u011btnici s otev\u0159en\u00fdm oknem s praskav\u00fdmi zvuky. A nesta\u010d\u00ed tak\u00e9 je\u0161t\u011b, \u017ee vzpom\u00ednky m\u00e1me. Mus\u00edme je um\u011bt zapomenout, kdy\u017e je jich mnoho, a mus\u00edme m\u00edt velkou trp\u011blivost a \u010dekat, \u017ee se vr\u00e1t\u00ed. Nebo\u0165 vzpom\u00ednky samy to je\u0161t\u011b nejsou. Teprve kdy\u017e se stanou v n\u00e1s krv\u00ed, pohledem a posunkem, jsouce bezejmenn\u00e9 a ji\u017e nerozli\u0161iteln\u00e9 od n\u00e1s sam\u00fdch, teprve potom se m\u016f\u017ee st\u00e1t, \u017ee za velmi vz\u00e1cn\u00e9 hodiny povstane v jejich st\u0159edu a vyjde z nich prvn\u00ed slovo ver\u0161e. Ale v\u0161echny m\u00e9 ver\u0161e vznikly jinak, nejsou tedy \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9. \u2013 A kdy\u017e jsem psal sv\u00e9 drama, jak jsem se m\u00fdlil. Byl jsem bl\u00e1hov\u00fd napodobitel, \u017ee jsem pot\u0159eboval t\u0159et\u00edho, abych vypravoval o osudu dvou lid\u00ed, kte\u0159\u00ed si jej navz\u00e1jem zt\u011b\u017eovali? Jak lehko jsem upadl do n\u00e1strahy. A musil jsem p\u0159ece v\u011bd\u011bt, \u017ee tento t\u0159et\u00ed, kter\u00fd jde v\u0161emi \u017eivoty a literaturami, toto stra\u0161idlo t\u0159et\u00edho, kter\u00fd nikdy neexistoval, nem\u00e1 v\u016fbec v\u00fdznamu, \u2026\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201eJe to sm\u011b\u0161n\u00e9. Sed\u00edm zde v sv\u00e9 mal\u00e9 sv\u011btnici, j\u00e1, Brid\u017ee, kter\u00e9mu je osmadvacet let a o n\u011bm\u017e nikdo nev\u00ed. Sed\u00edm zde a nejsem nic. A p\u0159ece, toto nic za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 myslit a ve v\u00fd\u0161i p\u00e1t\u00e9ho poschod\u00ed, za \u0161ediv\u00e9ho pa\u0159\u00ed\u017esk\u00e9ho odpoledne mysl\u00ed tuto my\u0161lenku: Je mo\u017en\u00e9, mysl\u00ed, \u017ee lid\u00e9 je\u0161t\u011b nic skute\u010dn\u00e9ho a d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9ho nevid\u011bli, nepoznali a ne\u0159ekli? Je mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee m\u011bli tis\u00edcilet\u00ed pokdy, aby se d\u00edvali, p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161leli a zaznamen\u00e1vali, a \u017ee nechali ta tis\u00edcilet\u00ed uplynout jako \u0161koln\u00ed p\u0159est\u00e1vku, za n\u00ed\u017e poj\u00edd\u00e1me chl\u00e9b s m\u00e1slem a jablko?<\/p>\n<p>Ano, je to mo\u017en\u00e9.<\/p>\n<p>Je mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee p\u0159es vyn\u00e1lezy a pokroky, p\u0159es kulturu, n\u00e1bo\u017eenstv\u00ed a filosofii z\u016fstali na povrchu \u017eivota? Je mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee dokonce i tento povrch, kter\u00fd by b\u00fdval i tak n\u011bco znamenal, povl\u00e9kli neuv\u011b\u0159iteln\u011b nudnou l\u00e1tkou, tak\u017ee vypad\u00e1 jako n\u00e1bytek v salon\u011b za letn\u00edch pr\u00e1zdnin?<\/p>\n<p>Ano, je to mo\u017en\u00e9.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eJe mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee lid\u00e9 v\u011b\u0159ili, \u017ee mus\u00ed dohonit to, co se ud\u00e1lo, d\u0159\u00edve ne\u017e se narodili? Je mo\u017en\u00e9 \u017ee v\u0161echny skute\u010dnosti nejsou pro n\u011b nic; \u017ee jejich \u017eivot ub\u00edh\u00e1 k ni\u010demu nep\u0159ipout\u00e1n, jako hodiny v pr\u00e1zdn\u00e9m pokoji &#8211; ? Je mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee se nic nev\u00ed o d\u00edvk\u00e1ch, kter\u00e9 p\u0159ece \u017eij\u00ed? Je mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee se \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 \u201e\u017eeny\u201c, \u201ed\u011bti\u201c, \u201echlapci\u201c a netu\u0161\u00ed se (p\u0159i v\u0161em vzd\u011bl\u00e1n\u00ed se netu\u0161\u00ed), \u017ee tato slova u\u017e d\u00e1vno nemaj\u00ed mno\u017en\u00e9ho \u010d\u00edsla, n\u00fdbr\u017e jen nes\u010detn\u00e1 jednotn\u00e1 \u010d\u00edsla?<\/p>\n<p>Je mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee jsou lid\u00e9, kte\u0159\u00ed \u0159\u00edkaj\u00ed \u201eB\u016fh\u201c a mysl\u00ed, \u017ee je to n\u011bco v\u0161eobecn\u00e9ho? \u2013 A viz jen dva \u0161kol\u00e1ky: jeden si koup\u00ed n\u016f\u017e, a jeho soused si koup\u00ed t\u00e9ho\u017e dne tak\u00e9 n\u016f\u017e, docela stejn\u00fd. A za t\u00fdden si ukazuj\u00ed oba ty no\u017ee, a objev\u00ed se, \u017ee jsou si je\u0161t\u011b jen zcela vzd\u00e1len\u011b podobn\u00e9 \u2013 tak rozd\u00edln\u011b se vyvinuly v rozd\u00edln\u00fdch rukou. (Ba, \u0159ekne na to matka jednoho z nich: kdy\u017e vy mus\u00edte hned v\u0161echno pokazit. &#8211; ) Ach tak: Je mo\u017en\u00e9 v\u011b\u0159it, \u017ee m\u016f\u017eeme m\u00edt Boha, ani\u017e bychom ho u\u017e\u00edvali? Ano, je to mo\u017en\u00e9. Ale jestli\u017ee je toto v\u0161echno mo\u017en\u00e9, i kdy\u017e to m\u00e1 jen zd\u00e1n\u00ed mo\u017enosti, &#8211; mus\u00ed se u v\u0161ech v\u0161udy n\u011bco st\u00e1t. Hned ten prvn\u00ed, ten, kter\u00fd m\u011bl tuto zneklid\u0148uj\u00edc\u00ed my\u0161lenku, mus\u00ed za\u010d\u00edt d\u011blat n\u011bco z toho, co bylo prome\u0161k\u00e1no; i kdy\u017e je to jen leckdo, v\u016fbec ne ten nejpovolan\u011bj\u0161\u00ed: nen\u00ed zde pr\u00e1v\u011b nikdo jin\u00fd.\u201c<\/p>\n<p align=\"right\">Rainer Maria Rilke<\/p>\n<p>in: R.M. Rilke: <em>Z\u00e1pisky Malta Lauridse Brigge,<\/em> p\u0159el. J. Zahradn\u00ed\u010dek, Praha, Sfinx 1933, 22-27 (kr\u00e1ceno).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201eM\u011bl bych, mysl\u00edm, za\u010d\u00edt n\u011bco d\u011blat, te\u010f, kdy se u\u010d\u00edm d\u00edvat. Je mi osmadvacet, a neud\u011blal jsem skoro nic. Zopakujme si to: napsal jsem studii o Carpacciovi, kter\u00e1 je \u0161patn\u00e1, drama, kter\u00e9 se jmenuje \u201eMan\u017eelstv\u00ed\u201c a chce dvojsmysln\u00fdmi prost\u0159edky dok\u00e1zat cosi fale\u0161n\u00e9ho, a ver\u0161e. Ach, ale s ver\u0161i se po\u0159\u00edd\u00ed tak m\u00e1lo, kdy\u017e je p\u00ed\u0161eme [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=324"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4693,"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions\/4693"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cestanahoru.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}